Top 25 South Park Episodes: Page 3 of 5

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Mr. Garrison - "I did not want love from a young boy.  I like men my own age!  I mean...I like women...oh god...whatdidIsay?  I love titties!"

15: Cartman joins NAMBLA  (Season 4) -  Another episode directed entirely by Eric Stough, The National Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) swings by South Park and finds themselves a spokesperson in Eric Cartman.  Naturally all of the boys get mixed up with this group and don't figure out they're pedophiles until it's almost too late.  Mr. Garrison gets caught trying to solicit sex from a young boy (Cartman) and gets thrown in jail.  It was pretty obvious in South Park's infancy that Mr. Garrison was a complete sexual deviant.   I believe that THIS episode was the one that would assure that I would be a South Park fan for life, due mostly to one particular scene; "The John Denver Experience."  I could not stop watching this episode.  I laughed so hard at that scene that my heart skipped a couple of beats.  I almost laughed my goddamn self to death, just like Kenny did once.  Now, this episode is filled with a lot of the "low-hanging fruit of humor," such as Stuart constantly puking, pooping, and blowing blood out of his nose, but it is not all as low as it seems.  The first time I saw "The John Denver Experience," I was hooked.

Santa - "I just couldn't do it.  I just couldn't let him live!  He shocked Santa's Balls!"

14: Red Sleigh Down (Season 6) - It is Christmas time in South Park again and Cartman has to perform the nicest deed *ever* in order to be considered for Santa's "Good" list.  He hatches a plan that involves delivering gifts to the Middle East.  Naturally, Santa Claus gets shot down by terrorists and the only person who can save him is Jesus.  You knew Jesus would have to save Santa on South Park eventually.  After you watch this episode, it will be difficult to forget the image of Jesus gunning down terrorists in order to save Santa Claus.  Santa's torture scene is a parody of, or perhaps an homage to, the vastly underrated war movie Three Kings.  Jimmy singing 12 Days of Christmas is a no-brainer to comedy gold.  Kenny is casually brought back, at the end of the episode, after a season-long absence.  After Jesus is assassinated, it is declared that Christmas will be a time to remember Jesus.  You know, that really seems like a good idea.

Cartman - "Excuse me sir, could you please point me in the direction of the pube fair?"

13: Scott Tenorman Must Die  (Season 5) - After Cartman is tricked into buying the pubic hair of  8th/9th grader Scott Tenorman, he goes to great lengths to get revenge.  Cartman's revenge is thwarted several times during this episode, causing him to not only lose $16.12, but to be substantially humiliated and outsmarted.  This episode is famous for officially turning Cartman from a bratty asshole into a cold, super-villain that you don't want to fuck with.  As entertaining as it may be to see Eric dressed in a suit, with pubes glued to his face, pretending to be "Kris Kristofferson from the IRS," it is the ending that bumps this episode into classic status.  When it is revealed to Scott that he accidentally sent his parents to their death and was tricked into eating "Mr. and Ms. Tenorman chili," Cartman ensured that South Park would never be forgotten within the annals of television


Chef - "Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? 'Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job, Chef?'. For once, can't you kids come in here and say 'Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?"

12: Fat Camp  (Season 4) - Eric Cartman's monstrous ass gets sent to fat camp in..."Fat Camp."  Ever the money-making businessman, Cartman spends his time in fat camp selling cookies and candy to the other "campers."  The subject of "comfort eating" is briefly brought up, but is never fully delved into because of time constraints.  I really believe that Matt and Trey should revisit this issue, as childhood obesity and "comfort eating" are still relevant and they could get a lot of mileage out of them.  Once the boys find out that Kenny will do any sick, twisted act for money, they exploit his talent until he becomes as hot as the stars of "Jackass" once were.  On his way to fame, he out-whores Johnny Knoxville and Tom Green by giving Howard Stern a $10 piece of oral sex.  Kenny is then arrested for prostitution, prompting the boys to converse with Chef.  I often get "The Prostitute Song," a duet by Chef and James Taylor, stuck in my head.  I wish a full version had been recorded so I could buy it off of iTunes.  The boys then force Cartman's "man on the outside" to cover for Kenny on his big pay-per-view special.  I'm not sure I've seen my friends laugh harder than when Ms. Crabtree pushed that unknown kid covered in mung out of her vag.  Matt and Trey were just as shocked as the rest of the world when the censors and Comedy Central gave it the "ok."  If I had to find fault with this episode, it would be that both the "A" and "B" stories were good enough to be episode length.

Kyle -  (to God) "Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama and, and you give Cartman a million dollars?"

11: Cartmanland  (Season 5) -  When Cartman's grandmother dies and leaves him a million dollars in her will, he goes off and purchases his dream: an amusement park!  I think just about everyone on this planet who isn't rich can relate to Cartman's reaction when he is bequeathed a million bucks.  If you suddenly become a millionaire and *don't* scream at the top of your lungs in excitement...then you are not human.  When Kyle finds out about Cartman's acquisition, he is devastated.  Kyle is then diagnosed with hemorrhoids and the "one-two punch" of devastation causes him to question his faith.  Despite all of the religion-bashing that the creators of South Park do, its clear that they do see some value in it.  I think people often forget that one of the main characters of the show, Kyle, was not just born Jewish, but is a devoted practitioner of the Jewish faith and very little can be done to sway this.  So it was very gratifying to see Kyle's faith in God reaffirmed once he saw Cartman lose his park, his money, and receive his just due.  Sure, that may sound like a petty way to reaffirm your faith, but we viewers have seen how Cartman treats Kyle and I'm pretty sure that quite a few of us can identify with his plight.

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