PixelatedPop's Nickelodeon Extravaganza!: Page 3 of 3

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Next up in the Extravaganza, two more of Nickelodeon's classic game shows!  The first show features a tough athletic competition without so many homosexual overtones. 

I said *without* homosexual overtones.  I think that tank-top was meant for a tiny woman.


Do-do-do-do you have it??!?

In Nickelodeon Guts, three young athletes were pitted against one another in athletic events based around popular sports.  Each athlete would earn a set amount of points based on their placing in each of the five events.  The athlete with the most points at the end of the show would win a gold medal and a trophy-piece of the last event: The Aggro Crag.

Its either the Aggro Crag or a Lady Gaga set piece.

If you were anything like me, you believed you belonged on the show.  It seemed like, nearly every episode, an "athlete" that couldn't kick or throw a ball was featured.  (Same goes with the bungee-cord section of the obstacle course.)  If I had been on the show, I wouldn't have shown any mercy on the basketball event.  In my head, the event would've gone something like this...

I would've gone all "Dream" on those bitches...

For some reason, as a kid, I had a serious crush on the official, Moira Quirk.

I'd get tangled up with her any day.

I don't know if it was her accent, or maybe the fact that she was a competent official, but she would've been my reason for winning Guts.  Forget a piece of the Aggro Crag, I wanted a piece of that.  Whatever your reason for watching was, there is no denying that Guts jam-packed a ton of action into 24 minutes.  Speaking of jam-packing a ton of action into 24 minutes...

I don't know who to credit for this magnificent piece of art, but thank you for encapsulating what winning Guts would be like.

"Behind this door lies the video zone.  A place between our world and the video dimension.  Waiting to challenge you for control of the video zone is one of the game's wizards..." 

Luckily for us viewers, Nick Arcade didn't turn out as lame as the intro.  Honestly, the format of the show featured similar elements to a few other Nick game shows.  An opening challenge, trivia questions, games for points/cash, final round to determine just how many sweet-ass prizes they leave with.  What made Nick Arcade so special was the integration of video games in the format! Nick Arcade would start the show with the teams (boy/girl each) facing off in a 30-second challenge.  The face-off challenges were usually a themed rip-off of Paperboy or Pong.  The "video challenges," however, were the real thing.  Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Act Raiser, Toki, Chuck Rock, Super Ghouls and Ghosts, King of the Monsters and Super R-Type were all featured on the show.

How did this get past the censors?

As awesome as this show was back in the early 90's, Nick Arcade would be a very different show if it were put on television today.  First off, The Video Zone (the final challenge) would not be as challenging as it first was.  Back in the early 90's, the blue screen technology used to achieve this game in a live-action game show was rather groundbreaking.  The contestants would have to keep their eye on a monitor to know where they were in the space of the game.  Today, quite a few people have a home version of this technology in the form of the Xbox Kinect.  Having a Kinect at home would keep quite a few kids from entering The Video Zone clueless.

They always f#*ked this up.

Secondly, and most important, is the gender gap in playing video games.  If you sift through the Nick Arcade episodes, you'll notice that, most often, the girls can't play the games nearly as well as the boys.  In the 20 years since the show aired, that fact has changed.  A lot.  Your woman may look sweet, but there is a good chance that she unlocked your "stealth mode" achievements without you.

(rabbitxhunter.deviantart.com) Pwning losers in Nuketown.

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